Thoughts on my mind

It has been awhile since I had the urge to write a post to let some negativity and anxiety out.

Starting to feel pretty overwhelmed today with all that I have on hand. This is when where I really want to shut everyone out in my life and only keep the ones that I love dearly.

The final semester is coming real soon and I am afraid I need to extend another one more. I am praying so hard God knows what's best for me and will guide my way despite my sins. Cause I believe God has his plans.

It has been a rough start after turning another year old this year with mishap after mishap. I really wish it could end so I can focus on more important things like school. I would really love to leave school. I have never felt worst after starting higher education and keep feeling really stupid. Never felt any lower.

I think I will stop here. When my thoughts are more well organised I will be back and share happy thoughts.

I can get over the coming semester. Failing or passing I shall just try my best! Jiayou!

A new semester.

Cheer to having an extra day before school starts tomorrow.

The  upcoming semester is gonna be a tough on. All my friend have moved forward and I well... back to clear my modules. I really hope I can make it through. Especially now with the strength of God. Let just see what route this semester will be like. I have endured for so long, the remaining (hopefully 1.5 years will be fine). Hang on and just do it! I can do this!

LET GO AND LET GOD. 

Anxiety-ridden...

When change is inevitable.

I was hoping this 3 months of holiday would be different, will be something I look forward to. But all the things that happened recently has made the 1st week a living nightmare. Well, at least if I am homed up in my own room I don't care how much this is affecting me. But the fact is... 

DAMN IT... FINALLY HOW INTERNSHIP IS STARTING TOMORROW IS GETTING ME!

Well, it's not the company or the people I am anxious about. I am afraid of changes. All the recent changes was really been freaking me out. I look calm and at peace but inside I am dying. I lost the touch in expressing my true feelings to anyone or being honest to myself. I hate not being me! I hate how I lost track of my life. What sucks the most is how tomorrow being in hall without anyone I know will definitely take a toll on me...

Well, now I have to take this one step at a time... throwing all emotional shit away. Cause internship is real. I hope I can handle this.

When speaking fails, we fall back on words...

Less then 24 hours is the first paper for this Sem. But here I am trying to be emotional stable to handle all screwed up shit in my life. 

This Sem has been one hella of a roller coaster ride, emotional turmoil and a whole lot of expectations. I wish I could just leave the expectations behind and move on! 

But it's not possible... I just know this will end up like Y2S1 where all the shit storm started. HA, I can't wait for life to laugh in my face. DEAR GOD, WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY LIFE SO HARSH ON ME?! WHY?! 

As time slowly slips away to the final paper... I too feel myself slipping into a world of anxiety and sorrow.... 

I pray for the best. That's all I can say. Please just don't let me repeat any modules!