Thoughts on my mind

It has been awhile since I had the urge to write a post to let some negativity and anxiety out.

Starting to feel pretty overwhelmed today with all that I have on hand. This is when where I really want to shut everyone out in my life and only keep the ones that I love dearly.

The final semester is coming real soon and I am afraid I need to extend another one more. I am praying so hard God knows what's best for me and will guide my way despite my sins. Cause I believe God has his plans.

It has been a rough start after turning another year old this year with mishap after mishap. I really wish it could end so I can focus on more important things like school. I would really love to leave school. I have never felt worst after starting higher education and keep feeling really stupid. Never felt any lower.

I think I will stop here. When my thoughts are more well organised I will be back and share happy thoughts.

I can get over the coming semester. Failing or passing I shall just try my best! Jiayou!

Forgive me, I'm just trying to find...

Hi there, I am back.

I know my come back post shouldn't be all sullen.

But I have to find a place to get things out of chest. If not, I have no idea how I am going to sleep tonight and head to school tomorrow or in the matter of fact work after school. Just having all stuck in me is so depressing and I can't even have a proper night rest. (Yes, body clock alarm at 4 in the morning despite sleeping at 12 - 2am) Yes, my life is messed up right now.

To be honest isn't but its just me. I am a wreak. I always let my nerves get the best of me. Sometimes I really believe I have anxiety issues and I am like almost an adult. I don't know how I can over come all this. I am too old for the crying shit too. I need to be tough.

I'll cut to the chase. I am freaking out on my next stage in life... university. I really hope I can get into one of the unis that I have applied else I really have no idea how I'd continue my life from there. Not to mention ... I shouldn't be so worries now but I have lost appetitie and what not. I will not have any idea what will happen to me later this year when I know I didn't get into any universities... that idea will freak me out big time now!

What ever it is I need to stop. I have to be strong and enjoy the now then looking in the future and freaking out over things that are not happening yet. That's me. See. I need to watch 'The Secret' to be back on track.

Phew, it's not a proper post but a ranting post of stuff that doesn't make sense don't you realize that? This like this happens to me. A LOT. I think I should blog more often. I feel so relieved now. (Wayyy better than my book or music distraction. Uh Oh!)

Leaving my place with a quote from ATL's sound...technically its sort of a love song but it sort of fit the emotions and feelings I am feeling for uni stuff. Yes, I AM ... D.E.S.P.E.R.A.T.E!

I'll be back soon. I hope. Busy. VERY.


p/s: I NEED A BUTTERFLYING BREAK. REALLY EXHAUSTED.

Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds

Are following me in my desperate endeavor

- Remembering Sunday; All Time Low