Thoughts on my mind

It has been awhile since I had the urge to write a post to let some negativity and anxiety out.

Starting to feel pretty overwhelmed today with all that I have on hand. This is when where I really want to shut everyone out in my life and only keep the ones that I love dearly.

The final semester is coming real soon and I am afraid I need to extend another one more. I am praying so hard God knows what's best for me and will guide my way despite my sins. Cause I believe God has his plans.

It has been a rough start after turning another year old this year with mishap after mishap. I really wish it could end so I can focus on more important things like school. I would really love to leave school. I have never felt worst after starting higher education and keep feeling really stupid. Never felt any lower.

I think I will stop here. When my thoughts are more well organised I will be back and share happy thoughts.

I can get over the coming semester. Failing or passing I shall just try my best! Jiayou!

Feb

Welcoming February where the month of flowers and sweets on the 14 makes me sick in the stomach and partly being sour grape from being single. HAHA.

This is not the point.

I had the worst January in all the years of my life (NOT) but it was horrible to a certain extend. So I welcome the singlehood and embracing the stressed up life that is not piling up slowing. I need to stop the weekend hangs and start my study proper. If I could I would love to go back to the last semester because I know this one will suck as much as the very first one. But anywho... WORK HARD AND FIGHT ON!

Alright ranting done and signing off, till next time.

Books. Books. Books.

Face reality and endure.

Hello all,

Another new year, another new semester.

More new goals to set as well.

The coming semester feels so alien to me. One of my classmates who I can relate to on so many levels is MIA, which saddens me. People who tend to go missing always end up leaving school. Losing 1 was a big blow to me, another will be worst. I hope I will get to see her when school reopens and may everything be the same as it is, or at least better. Cause right now I feel so alone, which sucks. Fear of something new I guess and my self esteem is still on the low right now.

On the side note, thank god for helping me get out of a horrible place I am in last semester. This coming semester will be worst of. I know it. 4 study modules, 3 of which I hope to pass but predict will fail so bad. T_T I still am willing to try though. My schedule is not pact, but I know I will laze around and procrastinate. I just hope the coming semester will be a miracle and OF COURSE 1000% hardwork again, more than this semester.

This is a battle I am willing to fight. I know even alone with an extra 1 semester compared to my friends I have to do it. YES YOU CAN, YOU WILL, YOU MUST!

With my constant sneezing and tiredness, I need to end here.

Bye.

The beginning of the repeated nightmare, new semester

Thought I'd share a bit of my fears before I embrace school tomorrow... Well, it should be today but due to the Saturday public holiday... so, you get the idea.

I know every Semester I get freaked over the changes for. This sem will suck so bad with my impending suicidal determination to try another semester. I am risking it all this time. Whether I will have a serious mark on my academic portfolio or sail it through and rest everything again. Who knows? Only the exam results could tell. And to say I just got up on my feet in poly with a good grade but emotionally struggling here and there every sem., my academic career has yet met with another downfall which I hope really isn't the end for me yet. T_T  

Next, DIP. Basically hardware isn't my thing, but I will still try to do it though. 2AUs. Just gonna do it and complete it. Trying my hardest to hold myself together and trying to pull off this the impending doomed in the upcoming 13 weeks.

I know I shouldn't  be stressing myself, but sometimes I just can't help it. I am like in freaked out mode whenever I have to face something so new and gradually get into the grove. MY ADAPTATION TO LIFE SUCKS. I wish I wasn't an adult... Haiz. But I am not giving up just yet. I will try not to be too negative and try my hardest this semester to hold on to the positive vibe with my Rasclat Bracelet. Maybe I should get the Lokai Bracelet as a reminder too.  

RANTING COMPLETED. STRESS RELIEVED. Off to prep for school tomorrow. 

Bye folks!