Drive

Welcome 2016.

It's been awhile with me and my random boring emotional rants.

Well, I am here because school is starting (again) next week! Pfffttt... I don't mind studying but it is the environment that I dislike and of course failures = meh why continue pushing it. I just lost my vibe in trying again. But who am I kidding? I need to move and push on since I am almost there.

The time doesn't matter. But I know I am sure bound to be a little conservative and keep myself locked up a bit more then usual. Cause that's what I am trying to do right now.

 Anywho, I need to get my sleeping patterns back before school starts next week, else it will be another sem of poor memory and grades.

Toodles. (probably will do a proper one again sometime this week, my mind seems to be here but not.. you get? hahah)

Where do you wonder when you are lost

I hate not finding my neutral point right now. I feel like a lost bird, no where close to home. 

Striving for the past 2 years and seeing the people I spend 2 years with all graduating soon sucks so bad. I know it's not a matter of how fast or graduating on time... Cause at the end of the day, you still get that paper. But it still saddens me how life runs this way. ): 

I just wish what God has placed in my path is telling me I can do more beyond what I think right now and it's a sign to let me grow (I know I'm not matured enough recently... Real obvious)! 

Cause as time passes, I feel lonelier and worst off. T_T 

I just need signs from you God, to help me, guide me through this low. I realised I have a lot of lows till the extend that I'm so mentally exhausted. T_T

Whatever it is, life still goes on.

(Ranting here feels so good!)

A new semester.

Cheer to having an extra day before school starts tomorrow.

The  upcoming semester is gonna be a tough on. All my friend have moved forward and I well... back to clear my modules. I really hope I can make it through. Especially now with the strength of God. Let just see what route this semester will be like. I have endured for so long, the remaining (hopefully 1.5 years will be fine). Hang on and just do it! I can do this!

LET GO AND LET GOD. 

Complicated

Why do I feel the way I do. I know it would never be, but this constant nagging hope lives in me. Articles after articles are signs how I should be ignoring every single internal battle that my head and heart are having, forget whatever feelings I am having and would be having.

Being the person I am constantly putting my emotions in front of anything. This weakness is really anxiety ridden and really causing all the sleepless nights. If it is possible, I wish I was just a friend and never developed anything more than that. I hate this feeling of being trapped in the endless emotional circle. It really sucks to be me right now. I really wish I could simply just leave it all behind.

My life sucks so bad right now... I just need closure or just maintaining the friendship...

I hate how it is right now... T_T

What does it takes?

"Sometimes I wish something in the picture won't exist, 

but I'm quite exhausted from being the only one involved in this..."

I feel like crap. The feeling of constantly being in a vicious cycle and being so silly. Why can't I just let this go once and for all and continue the life I have been living all this time? Draw that line regardless. Why am I constantly drawn to the "bad habit"?

Right now I really do miss my familiar faces, cause they are the ones that give me the strength to kick the bad habit that is killing me softly.

Regardless, if this is a sign... please stop letting it get to me. At least show it will lead to somewhere and not this messed up feelings, attachment what-so-ever I am having!!!

IN THE FIRST PLACE WHY AM I SO SILLY?! T_T

FORGET IT... JUST END WHATEVER THIS IS!!!