A new semester.

Cheer to having an extra day before school starts tomorrow.

The  upcoming semester is gonna be a tough on. All my friend have moved forward and I well... back to clear my modules. I really hope I can make it through. Especially now with the strength of God. Let just see what route this semester will be like. I have endured for so long, the remaining (hopefully 1.5 years will be fine). Hang on and just do it! I can do this!

LET GO AND LET GOD. 

Complicated

Why do I feel the way I do. I know it would never be, but this constant nagging hope lives in me. Articles after articles are signs how I should be ignoring every single internal battle that my head and heart are having, forget whatever feelings I am having and would be having.

Being the person I am constantly putting my emotions in front of anything. This weakness is really anxiety ridden and really causing all the sleepless nights. If it is possible, I wish I was just a friend and never developed anything more than that. I hate this feeling of being trapped in the endless emotional circle. It really sucks to be me right now. I really wish I could simply just leave it all behind.

My life sucks so bad right now... I just need closure or just maintaining the friendship...

I hate how it is right now... T_T

What does it takes?

"Sometimes I wish something in the picture won't exist, 

but I'm quite exhausted from being the only one involved in this..."

I feel like crap. The feeling of constantly being in a vicious cycle and being so silly. Why can't I just let this go once and for all and continue the life I have been living all this time? Draw that line regardless. Why am I constantly drawn to the "bad habit"?

Right now I really do miss my familiar faces, cause they are the ones that give me the strength to kick the bad habit that is killing me softly.

Regardless, if this is a sign... please stop letting it get to me. At least show it will lead to somewhere and not this messed up feelings, attachment what-so-ever I am having!!!

IN THE FIRST PLACE WHY AM I SO SILLY?! T_T

FORGET IT... JUST END WHATEVER THIS IS!!!

Anxiety-ridden...

When change is inevitable.

I was hoping this 3 months of holiday would be different, will be something I look forward to. But all the things that happened recently has made the 1st week a living nightmare. Well, at least if I am homed up in my own room I don't care how much this is affecting me. But the fact is... 

DAMN IT... FINALLY HOW INTERNSHIP IS STARTING TOMORROW IS GETTING ME!

Well, it's not the company or the people I am anxious about. I am afraid of changes. All the recent changes was really been freaking me out. I look calm and at peace but inside I am dying. I lost the touch in expressing my true feelings to anyone or being honest to myself. I hate not being me! I hate how I lost track of my life. What sucks the most is how tomorrow being in hall without anyone I know will definitely take a toll on me...

Well, now I have to take this one step at a time... throwing all emotional shit away. Cause internship is real. I hope I can handle this.

I'm glad I did it anyway...

I'm glad. At least I know I have let a burden of my chest. Cause when my head runs at 100miles/hour, sleeping is not an option. Now I have been given more then enough to see the light. (: 

Being silly yes for doing it more then once yes. But at least I get a proper answer for myself. (: Life goes on, the world still spins. I know I won't talk to you anymore, but it's a happy-sad thing.