Hell and Back

Satisfactory, not really but I am glad I managed to make a huge improvement in my results this semester. Thanks for giving me another chance!

It's not about doing well, but surviving 13 weeks of school again. I think I might just go ahead and try another semester before I give up on my academic career since the GPA is increasing. I know I need to work 10 time harder then last semester but I am willing to give it my all because this has shown so much that actually I can make it. (Semester 1 is all too much of a disaster to go through over again.. if only my results in the 1st were the same as the semester, things wouldn't be so hard on me).

I have another 13 more weeks before I know if it is really the end of my academic career again, but sometimes we just got to take risks. If you never try you would never know. I just pleased to see the grades for programming and maths, but disappointed in my physics and software engineering grades.

I am really glad I found TONIGHT ALIVE'S HELL AND BACK! It gave me so much strength to face my results today and I have ISSUES'S NEVER LOSE YOUR FLAMES to push me on to continue with my uni education. What will I do without these bands in my life?!

Let's try it once more and see where it will get me...

"There’s no use in feeling low, No… 

But I never let myself down, so bad

But I never thought I’d have the things I have

Cause it was the heaviest rain I ever felt on my skin 

It was the heaviest place that I have ever been in 

As the walls crashed down I felt it slip away 

Cause I went to hell and back just to be where I am today"

One the edge

Results are coming out really soon, and I know my fate is near. Be it whether I am gonna keep up at it or just giving up on my dreams.

I really hope life would be a little kinder to me, give me a chance to step it up once more. I know I am more then this, I know I have made tons of mistakes but I am learning (being overly ambitious thinking I can handle 21 hours of lesson, struggling but refuse to get help and YES superrrrr overestimating my abilities.) Now its not about doing well getting the perfect results but being humble (I NEED THE HUMBLE PIE) and surviving till the end of the entire course which means graduation.

I am not afraid to say I am doing really badly in my chosen major, cause reality is staring right back at me. But if I am given another chance I am willing to do what it takes cause I have found whatever I have been looking for this holiday, the DETERMINATION (one that I have forgotten after my success in the polytechnic) as well as being super complacent about all the people around me (all the smart people who are studying in the local university who are much more hard working and smarter then me).

I know I have made some pretty bad choices, but sometimes we have to learn from them in order to ease up on the ego I have built up for my academic career. If only I am given another chance this coming friday...

If only....

Whatever it is, I am going to take whatever god has placed in my hand and take it as it is. Cause it's never about taking that one route, evidential in my WHOLE ACADEMIC CAREER. Life has it's way of coming around and making people understand. I will learn and make it there someday, if it's really that bad, I know I can... it's just a matter of how long... (: