Loser like me,

I've restrain long enough, I'm going to let the emotion flow in this post. Judge. 

Feel free to, cause I don't give a fuck about your opinion. 

I believe there are people who don't believe that I'm so negative and pessimistic. If you think I'm lying ask my parents, close friends and even _____ knows how unwilling I am to admit my achievements. They rarely hear me mention positive comments about myself and my achievements. I always think I'm not doing enough and everything I have achieved is just bull shit, I'm just making up to all the failures I made in the past 12 years of my life. And regarding tomorrow its the same, I really think the chances are not there. Look, I'm sick and when ever I'm in such a situation I stutter and keep my mouth shut so how on earth do think I can even make it even though I really hope I can make it. WHO DOESN'T? IF NO, THAT PERSON IS JUST BULL SHITTING IN YOUR FACE. (I am just being 100% frank about human nature I bet 100000 that no one on this planet will not want it)

Yeps, so to stop my tension and anxieties about tomorrow. I'm going to share what happened...

HAHAHAH. Someone like me decided to speak to a class of 20 or so peeps last Wednesday with another guy. Trust me. Me and my butterflies, it's RARE. I built up my courage marched into the lecture theater and it was pitch dark except for the blue screen and music playing. I thought I was in the wrong place. OMG. I decided to wait outside and only at probably 4.10 I went in. Still feeling butterflies, I mastered my courage and speak the the girls. Erm, let's say it didn't go as well as I planned (rather than I take the initiative to speak, I needed some prompting and conversation starters) but lucky enough we did a switch. HAHAHA, GUYS ARE GUYS. Chatting and all sort. The conversation was a wee bit better than the girls. I really nope I did some motivating. Hope you guys will do well, at least try too! I sincerely hope you guys do! (:

Pre-U Seminar is coming up really soon 20+ more days left. Need I say more? Butterflies and fear will be looking for me. :/ In fact why was I agreeable to this is because I'm trying my best to break away from being introvert and widen my network. Hope it is fun? I'm going to have an open mind about it! (:

This semester is the worst one. Hectic. I'm getting lesser sleep and have fallen sick. Flu and a sore throat.  T_T I really need to get hold of myself and manage everything. I have this feeling I'll fail both modules. Till now I don't know what the heck I am doing. I sometimes think I am in class but I start zoning to some where else. Maybe I need to sleep early. Today I'll do that. It takes one day to know right? 

Toodles,